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How I cope with such an open heart in the face of trauma?

This entry was posted on March 3, 2017

I try where possible to only talk about the love and light and happiness in the world. I do that, not as a form of denial about the hardships that we all face but because I find it uplifting even in hard times to be surrounded with optimism, love and light.

I am quite vigilant about protecting my emotions and my senses from more hardship than is mine to witness. So if I’ve got more to carry than normal, I’ll carry that, I’ll work through it but I will spend less time engaging with some of the more heavy stuff on social media. I’ll switch off from the negative chatter about Trump (for example), rush past the posts from vegans about animal cruelty and avoid video clips with emotional music to shield myself from whatever sad story they’re going to tell. At other times, I feel stronger, I feel more capable of engaging in these things. But when I don’t, I unapologetically ignore, move on and look for the light.

I believe it is our duty, to our light, to protect our senses and maintain the best energy we can. You might not know this, but I believe every single one of us has a role to play in the energy world. If everyone of us were to improve our energy, the speed of our sparkles, I believe the world, the universe, would grow/develop in a way that we can’t even fathom. We might see it’s impact, like a noticeable decrease in crime, potentially some huge scientific breakthroughs, or an overall improvement in our happiness. And even though it’s vague, I believe it’s an important part of why some of us are here, to raise the frequency of the world closer to the speed of the universal energy.

The reason I thought I’d mention these things is because in the course of my work, I inevitably come across more sad and unsettling stories than someone in a normal career. By the age of 21, I had vowed that I wouldn’t work with terminal patients again… needless to say, I was young and naive and wrong. I’ve been honoured to work with many very sick and terminal patients since then, some who have passed away and it’s broken my heart in a way that I’m not sure it ever fully recovers from. And, some who (I’m smiling now) will be reading this today.

People who go into the healing arts, whether as a Doctor, nurse or healer, open their hearts to their clients. But as an energy worker, who gives healing or psychic readings, you connect to your client by blending your energy together. Whilst you’re working with the client, you, in part, are the client. Not just on an emphatic level but also on an energetic level.

Through using the mindset and emotional intelligence tools below, I’ve learnt to cope a lot better than I did when I was 21…

Acceptance

The first thing is always to live in reality, live in the truth of the situation. Don’t hide yourself away into a fairytale land where you pretend everything is rainbows and unicorns. Be here. Be present. Face the situation head on. You owe it to your client and yourself.

Embrace the beauty

Then I focus on all the beauty and love I have in my life. I figure that their struggles are all the more reason that I should enjoy the beauty and blessings in my life right now. None of it is guaranteed and none of it is less beautiful because of the pain other people are experiencing. I fully embrace this beauty and love as if it’s my life’s mission to enjoy the good times.

Savour

Then I savour those beautiful times, I share them. I tend to share more of the beauty and love in my life on social media for exactly this reason. It gives me plenty of times to look back on wonderful times and be grateful for them. I choose to focus on what is good and lifts me up.

Feel

I still feel everything, I still grieve. I’m a great believer in “first you must feel before you heal”. I can’t remember when I coined that phrase but it’s still as true today as it was then. I’m rubbish at brushing things under the carpet, I’m rubbish at faking a smile… my face is too expressive and my feelings are too strong to be ignored. So I feel it, fully totally feel it. I don’t prolong the feeling by making it bigger in my mind, but I am present with the waves of emotion as they move through me.

Protect my senses

Whether it’s as significant as a digital detox or it’s a conscious decision to not engage in the negative, the painful or the difficult, I protect my senses. I’ll watch a Disney movie over a thriller. I’ll read books and articles and blogs that fill my senses with beautiful thoughts and images. I google pictures of cute puppies. I’ll focus on anything that feels good, and I’ll ignore any thing outside of my sphere that makes me feel bad or uneasy. If a friend or client needs my support, I’ll be there 100|% but I won’t put my senses and emotions into overdrive for people that aren’t in my sphere. Do you know what I mean? Every body needs support sometimes, but you can’t be that person for everyone or you’ll burn out and collapse then let down the people in your sphere that rely on your energy and strength. You prioritise the people that you are here to serve that huge plate of yummy love and support.

Kindness

I say prayers or I sit in meditation for those who need strength. I might tell the person, or I might just send them love. I make sure they’re strongly connected to the universe so they’re being nourished and cared for in the most powerful way.

Do you have a super sensitive heart? What things do you do to cope with the traumas that happen? Let me know in the comments…

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